Stress (daily news articles below)

• serotonin - involved in regulation of sleep, appetite and mood
• dopamine - part of the brain's 'reward system'
• noradrenaline - involved in regulating energy and drive
• GABA - has a general sedative effect
• glutamate - tends to activate nerve cells
• CRF - increases steroid levels

• constant fatigue and irregular sleep patterns
• poor concentration and short-term memory
• introspection increases and is accompanied by neglect of the family and personal appearance
• constant repetition of the same actions
• increased irritability

Stress News:

Controlling Husbands or Controlling Wives - Dangerous For Your Heart - YAYNXARY3NAQ

Is Marriage Good for Your Health?  Here are some answers from the article Is Marriage Good for Your Health? by Tara Parker-Hope published in The New York Times.  Take note of the affects of having a controlling husband or controlling wife.

• Other researchers have also studied how the "drip, drip" of negativity can erode not only a marriage itself but also a couple's physical health. A number of epidemiological studies suggest that unhappily married couples are at higher risk for heart attacks and cardiovascular disease than happily married couples.
• Smith's results suggest that there are important differences between men and women when it comes to health and the style of conflict that can jeopardize it.
• The women in his study who were at highest risk for signs of heart disease were those whose marital battles lacked any signs of warmth, not even a stray term of endearment during a hostile discussion ("Honey, you're driving me crazy!") or a minor pat on the back or squeeze of the hand, all of which can signal affection in the midst of anger.
• "Most of the literature assumes that it's how bad the arguments get that drives the effect, but it's actually the lack of affection that does it," Smith told me. "It wasn't how much nasty talk there was. It was the lack of warmth that predicted risk."
• For men, on the other hand, hostile and negative marital battles seemed to have no effect on heart risk. Men were at risk for a higher coronary calcium score, however, when their marital spats turned into battles for control. It didn't matter whether it was the husband or wife who was trying to gain control of the matter; it was merely any appearance of controlling language that put men on the path of heart disease.
• The solution, Smith noted, isn't to stop fighting. It's to fight more thoughtfully. "Difficulties in marriage seem to be nearly universal," he said. "Just try not to let fights be any nastier than they need to be."

Here are a 3 of take aways for your next fight:

1. Learn how to fight better;
2. Include some form of affection toward your wife in your disagreements;
3. Watch out for battles for control and don't use controlling language with your husband.

Part 1 of 2

Randy's really worried about his family's finances.  They've got one income and are overspending by a large amount every month.  He knows that they're approaching their credit limits and it can't go on much longer.

He wants to sell the house.  Their house is too big and too expensive.  When they bought it several years ago the mortgage and other expenses seemed manageable, even though even then it was a bit of a stretch.  Not anymore.  But they can't sell it, at least not for enough to make moving make sense.

So Randy's been looking for other ways to balance the budget.  He asked his wife, Erin, what she thought about cutting back the Dish Network bill.  She replied, "We can't change that."  He thought that he could handle the pool upkeep, so he suggested cutting the pool service.  Again she replied, "We can't change that."

He told me in our last counseling for men meeting that he doesn't know what to do.  Erin refuses to consider even the possibility of cutting their spending.  And he's even more frustrated because on top of her refusal she still says she can't understand why he struggles with anger.

It's common for those of us in relationships to hope that during difficult times, like the money stress Randy and Erin are experiencing in their marriage, that the two of us will come together as a team and face the challenge as partners.  Sadly, that's only a dream for many of us. 

The reality often is that when stress comes most of us go to our dysfunctional selves rather than our best selves.  We fear change, the unknown, become paralyzed, can't see possibilities, and quite frequently become polarized as a couple.

Money is one of the easiest topics for couples to become polarized about (have opposing view points).  The situation Randy and Erin are in is really common.  So how do they stop their money fights?

* This is the first article of two examining a real couple struggling with money stress in their marriage.  In the next article we'll look at what they can do to stop their money fights.  Sign-up for our blog on the right side of this page and be sure to get the next article (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).

Many men are mad as hell.  Our anger isn't just hurting us, such as destroying our marriages, it's also killing us. 

You may think your anger isn't this extreme, or that you don't get angry, but if you're like most of the men I work with, anger is affecting you negatively more than you realize.  All of us, myself included, need to take the destructive aspects of anger seriously and change some of our habits.

Here are some interesting facts about extreme anger from the article Why So Angry? published in Men's Health.  Take a minute and see what you can learn.

• According to a 2006 Harvard study, 10 million adult men in the United States are so angry, they're sick. In fact, their disease has a name: intermittent explosive disorder, or IED.
• Previous estimates put the number of IED sufferers in America at less than 0.5 percent of the population. But if the Harvard researchers are correct, almost 1 in 10 adult men routinely display wildly disproportionate aggression, and are so angry that they're likely to damage property, or threaten or injure others.
• Considered alone, the symptoms of the disorder are easy to dismiss: a commuter flipping off a fellow driver in a traffic jam, a basketball player charging the stands during an NBA game, the guy I saw a few rows back screaming at the hot-dog vendor because he had no mustard left. But there's more behind an IED diagnosis than a few isolated acts of rage. "If you're blowing up a couple of times a week, you probably have the disorder," says Emil Coccaro, M.D., a leading anger researcher at the University of Chicago. "The average person shouldn't be having arguments and temper tantrums."
• "Anger is like cigarette smoking," says Howard Kassinove, Ph.D., an anger researcher at Hofstra University. "In the short run, you feel good. In the long run, you're more likely to die of heart disease or stroke. People think it's macho to be angry. It's more macho to be alive."
• Michael Overstreet used to think his fuse was simply short. When the 46-year-old Minnesota engineer was 15, he chased his sister to her bedroom and booted away at the door until it splintered and he could see inside. Years later, he'd turn from loving husband to drill sergeant in a snap, leaving his 3-year-old son to referee between screaming father and sobbing mother. . . Finally, his wife had enough and ended the marriage.
• Is it any surprise, then, that Overstreet's grandfather used to lash out when his mashed potatoes had too much gravy?
• Most anger is productive. In Anger: Taming the Beast, therapist Reneau Peurifoy proposes a three-part test to decide whether your anger is helpful, rather than hurtful: (1) A real threat existed. (2) The level of your anger was proportionate to the threat. (3) Your actions.
• Dr. Coccaro proposes an easier test to determine whether you should seek help: "Ask yourself: Does it get me into trouble?" he says. "It really is that simple. If people tell you that you have to calm down, or that you have an anger problem, you probably have one."
• In fact, more than 30,000 heart attacks each year are triggered by momentary anger, according to a 2004 Harvard study. "People who have a lot of anger invest a lot of energy in trying to control it, and that kind of friction is likely to increase the probability of a heart attack," says Charles Spielberger, Ph.D., a University of South Florida psychologist who developed the most widely used test to measure anger. "The more intense the anger, the more likely the heart attack."
• Other studies have shown that angry men are three times more likely to develop premature cardiovascular disease, six times more likely to have an early heart attack, and three times more likely to have a stroke.
• In other words, chill or die.
• Last fall, Michael Overstreet felt like he had his anger licked when he took his fiancée to Breezy Point, Minnesota, for a friend's wedding. That night, they returned to the condo they were sharing with other couples, only to find the front door locked.
   
  "Suddenly, I began pounding on the door, and my friend's wife came out and confronted me," Overstreet recalls. "I was screaming at her and calling her a bitch, saying, 'Why the f--- am I locked out?' Some of the guys got protective and stepped in. It was an unsettling event for everyone."
   
  The blowup was textbook IED: A simple argument rapidly escalated. Overstreet was forced to sleep in a separate condo, and, afterward, he wrote personal letters of apology to all his friends and their wives who had witnessed his outburst. The rush of guilt is another telltale sign of IED.
   
  Soon after, his fiancée returned the engagement ring. But he's had no major blowups since then, and now the engagement is back on. He says that maybe, just maybe, he finally has his temper under control. His only regret is that he didn't seek help sooner. His message to men: Don't let anger destroy your life.

If you're a little like Michael, or the partner of someone who is, take his advice and get some help.  Anger management classes can help you both can keep anger from destroying your lives.

Know anyone who's anger looks like this?

How to Get the Husband of Your Dreams

Learn how your husband rates compared to other husbands and help him get back to being the man you fell in love with. Take our Free Husband Rater Quiz (quizzes for both wives and husbands).

Seven in ten Americans cite money as their most significant source of stress.  The American Psychological Association's (APA) 2009 Stress in America survey found that 71% of Americans cited money as their leading sources of stress, 69% said work, 63% the economy, and 55% named family responsibilities.

"According to our survey three quarters of adults in this country already report moderate to high levels of stress," said Katherine Nordal, PhD. "The holiday season can bring with it additional emotional and financial stressors that can negatively impact both physical and mental health."

Of particular importance for parents were the findings that children are nearly two times more likely to worry about financial concerns than their parents realize. The survey found 30% of children reporting that they worry about their family having enough money, while only 18% of parents thought that this is a source of stress for their child.

Clearly, men have got stress, so here are some simple stress management tips from the APA to help you manage holiday stress and enjoy the season:

1. Take Time for Yourself -- By slowing down you will actually have more energy to accomplish your goals.
2. Volunteer -- Helping others who are less fortunate can put hardships in perspective and can build stronger family relationships.
3. Set Realistic Expectations -- Create a realistic budget and remind your children that the holidays aren't about expensive gifts.
4. Remember What's Important -- Commercialism can overshadow the true sentiment of the holiday season.  Remind yourself that family, friends and the relationships in our lives are what matter most.
5. Seek Support -- Consider talking with a professional counselor to help you develop coping strategies and better manage your stress.

Read more about their findings and suggestions here -- Top Stressors for Americans.

All content within MensHealthOnly.com is provided for general information only, and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor or any other health care professional. MensHealthOnly.com is not responsible or liable for any diagnosis made by a user based on the content of MensHealthOnly.com website.